Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Great Marital Divide: Roles, Duties and Chores Part #2

Hey Covenant Groupies,

Kevin and I often talk about how at some point couples, including ourselves, will or have disagree(d) about roles, duties and chores. Why do we not take hold of the guidebook that lays out the truth of our duties, roles and some of our chores? Why do we insist on fighting this fight as if we don’t know what we’re supposed to do? Is it pride, is it ego or is it control? Conversely, when we get a new job and we’re given the work manual, we read it frequently so we don’t disappoint our boss, increase the knowledge of our jobs and decrease our chances of losing our jobs. We don’t fight him/her or disagree with our assigned roles and duties. Doesn’t it seem strange that we’ll fight God concerning the role and duties he’s assigned us? Huuuuuuum!

Biblical Roles
Spiritual Leader Protector Provider

Help Meet Comforter
Receiver of the Word

No where in the above list of biblical roles does it say that husbands are forever deemed the garbage-taker- outers or that wives are forever subordinated to scrubbing the floors. Society, however, has told us that we are entitled to fight about who cooks, does dishes, laundry, mop the floor etc. These are not roles, these are chores. Chores are about how we want our homes to be defined, chores are to benefit the home not just the people living in it, and they are meant to be shared.

Sometimes, chores even force us to be sacrificial and take on your spouses chores.
In marriage, chores are about love, consideration, unity and peace. I cook dinner, Kevin cooks breakfast; I take out trash, so does Kevin, I do laundry, so does Kevin, I mop, so does Kevin; I do the majority of the house cleaning (bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen etc.) and so does he when he has a moment and I don’t make him feel bad about it and we grocery shop together. To underline it, we make sure it’s not our gender that defines our chores, but our hearts.

When we look at the duties of husbands and wives, we can take a look at 1 Peter 3: 1-7 and find:

Biblical Duties

Trust in God
Quiet Spirit
Subjection to Husband

Trust in God
Dwelling in...Knowledge
Giving Honor

Why these duties, you may ask? Because God takes notice and records the actions of all men and women.

Embracing our marital duties, roles and chores will continue to be a chain around our necks until and unless we commit to truly divorcing ourselves and humbly submit to thinking of our spouse more and ourselves less. It’s transformative journey that God desires to take us on. We must, either accept that God does know what’s best for us or commit to living in a perpetual state of pain, disillusion, hurt, fear just to name a few. Believe me the former proves that God will truly get the glory, not us.

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