Monday, August 17, 2009

Spiritual Warfare: The Christian Marriage Bed

Hey Covenant Groupies,

Do you believe that great sex in a Christian marriage is Spiritual Warfare? I do. What better way for the enemy to eliminate future warriors of the Gospel than to halt God’s beautiful act of lovemaking? He’ll take all of our previous sexual liberties like pornography, perverse sexual ideas, unhealthy sexual practices etc. and make us believe that we must bring them into your Christian marriage in order to keep it hot and spicy. As well, he’ll use any abuses we’ve suffered such as rape, molestation, voyeurism, or fears and make us keep them from your spouse; hide behind the shame of exposure. The marriage bed quickly then becomes a place of confusion, distension and discord; instead of romance, love and freedom.

Several years back Kevin and I were speaking to a Christian couple where the wife was consistently caught in the act of infidelity by her husband. She blamed her husband for the cheating and became so bold she would share some of her escapades with him. She even got to the point of having her lover in her home; in her and her husbands’ bed. After confessing what would be her last bout of infidelity, Kevin and I prayed that we could help get to the heart of the issue with them.

In a nutshell, she was missing all of the perverse things from her past that made her feel like she thought a woman should feel; wanted and desired by men. Her mother would allow her, as a young girl of 13 years old, to bring boys home to have sex in her room; there was sexual abuse that she identified as being “healthy” sex, men would ask her to perform different sex acts and so on. From there, her view of sex became very perverted and because her husband wouldn’t participate in these things, she cheated, very often. She told him it was his fault. Nonetheless, each time he took his wife back. If that’s not spiritual warfare, I don’t know what is. This relationship reminded me so much of the Book of Hosea. Hosea too, had to become a spiritual warrior and humble husband to the point of looking like a fool.

His mercy for his wife was never-ending. Most people; especially men would have given up on her the first time she cheated, but he immediately understood his ministry. He prayed often for her sexuality since that was her area of weakness and he recognized the enemy’s schemes. For this man, his wife, his marriage and their sexual relationship became his mission field of spiritual warfare.

Conversely, we’ve also spoken with Christian couples where one member of the marriage has simply withdrawn from the marriage bed all together or may be too tired to enjoy sex with their spouse. All of these are dangerous because when one member of the relationship is constantly denied, aside from agreed to prayer and fasting, it invites satan and his devious temptations. 1 Cor. 7:1-5.

Then there are those couples who’ve allowed anger (justified and unjustified) to shut their spouse out of their bedroom and have, instead of committing to one another, they’ve vowed to stay far away from one another until “something” changes.

The enemy is laughing his booty off.

Have you committed to praying for your marital sex life?

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