Friday, August 28, 2009

True Intimacy - Why Aren't Couples Praying Together?

Hey Covenant Groupies,

Kevin and I were talking the other day about couples and prayer. We’ve calculated that in all the years that we’ve held Bible Studies (about 8 1/2 years) and sat with couples, we’ve never come across a couple that’s prayed together, not ONE. Now we know that praying, as a discipline difficult, but we’ve always found it strange that couples will have sex, share “some personal secrets,” discuss past hurts and abuses, even open up about what they desire their future to look like, but praying together just doesn’t happen.

We have talked with these couples and found that some couples used prayer as a weapon, others don’t trust one another, then there were those who were embarrassed to be so vulnerable with their spouse or while others had been mocked and ridiculed by their spouse concerning their spiritual life and they just weren’t interested. We’ve discovered that when and if they do pray, it’s always apart from one another.

Strangely enough, we call sex intimate, we call discussing past issues vulnerable and confessing shortcomings and faults transparent, but I have begun to believe that these titles don’t matter. As couples we know that beyond a shadow of a doubt the most intimate, vulnerable and transparent thing we can do together is pray; that’s why we shy away from it, even hide away with it. It’s impossible to pray and lie simultaneously. Sharing a story, confessing a shortcoming even while having sex we can all lie or omit certain parts, but that’s impossible when you pray; you’re not interacting with your spouse, you’re talking to God and He’s knows EVERYTHING!

Have you ever found it difficult to pray with your spouse? Why? Why do you think couples find it difficult to pray together, especially since it’s one of the most intimate things a couple can do? Why do you think, after marriage, children and life transforming decisions couples still don’t trust one another?

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