Monday, August 3, 2009

Love Over Law - Modeling Godly Attitudes

Hey Covenant Groupies,

My blog today was scheduled to be about 1 Peter 3:1-7. Discussing how we wives can be godly examples to their unsaved husbands. Furthermore, that we often alienate, become pushy towards and even neglect our saved spouses that may be operating a little slower in their walk. This is what God drew my attention to this morning. Verse 2 says – “Husbands may be won to the Lord “… as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” I guess there’s something God wants to continue to point out the importance of modeling His values to our spouses.

In reference to this scripture, my King James Bible says, “Our attitudes toward our mates are governed by our attitudes toward God. A husband may fall short of a wife’s expectations and of God’s ideal for a husband. Nevertheless, she seeks in every way to be a good wife, modeling her behavior on Christ, who obeyed and trusted the Father even when Hs own people rejected Him. Or, a wife may disappoint her husband, disregard his authority, or withhold her respect. Nevertheless, a husband honors his wife, cares for her, and prays for her, modeling his behaviors on the Father, who “knows our frame.”

This is something I truly believe. As we struggle to love our spouses unconditionally, there will be moments when we will feel justified in treating them in some of the not so pleasing ways they’ve treated us. However, and I’ve learned this personally, it does backfire. God will hold us accountable ONLY for our actions, not our spouses. Our marital roles have been defined and laid out for us and that’s how we’re expected to operate.

Then I read this in “Marriage Plus: The Bible and Marriage”

“A problem can arise when a wife, hungry for God, gets heavily involved with the things of God, including church activities, and starts neglecting her husband. As she gets busier and busier, he grows angrier and angrier. She is often gone when he feels he needs her; when she’s home, she keeps trying to lead him to Christ by telling him how much she “loves Jesus.” She talks on and on about Jesus. Jesus is so wonderful. Jesus takes care of her. Jesus blesses her. She hangs Jesus’ picture in the bathroom where her husband is sure to see it. Or, at night, thinking herself spiritual, she props up her pillow, reads her Bible and avoids having sex with her unspiritual husband. And she wonders why he avoids Jesus Christ, Christianity, church and her.

Quite unthinkingly, she isn’t drawing her husband to Jesus Christ. She’s driving him away. The husband is silently growing jealous of Christ. It’s as if his wife has a new lover, worst of all, an invisible one! If the husband could see this new contender for his wife’s love, he very well might fight him. But how does a husband fight Jesus Christ? He can only retreat, because his wife obviously loves Christ more than she does him.”

This too, was amazing and quite personal for me. At first I read it and it was quite funny to me, but the Lord convicted my heart to a conversation Kevin had with me several years ago. I recalled him telling me that he was jealous of how engrossed I was with the things of God; the reading, Bible Study, conversations and all the calls about godly things. I truly thought that I was expressing my excitement and he felt that I was living another life absent of him. I thought I was doing exactly what I (“I” being the problem) was supposed to be doing, but “what about me,” was Kevin’s question. He had no idea how to compete nor was he willing to.

Yes, we are supposed to have our own personal relationship with God, but not at the cost of your spouses’ walk. God would much rather we honor love over the law. Sometimes we become so busy concentrating on the law of the Bible and love for God, our spouses and others get clouded out.

How are we doing at modeling God's attitude?

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