Saturday, August 25, 2012

Does Marriage Have Any Value At All? Really?

Good Morning Groupies,

I don't know about you, but my heart truly aches when I see what marriage has been reduced to over the past few decades... A joke!

Whether it's Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra nine hours, Britney Spears and Jason Alexander 55 days, Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozado 41 days or Kim Kardashian and Chris Humphries 72 days, too many people minimize the value of marriage. It has come to be seen as an excusable impulse or a business deal that can be jumped in to and out of on a whim or a contract that can just be signed and then terminated.

Gone are the days when people know marriage as the powerful entity that is the glue that holds communities together, that healthy marriages give children a firm sense of identity, that it is a village of trust and support and the one relationship a very large part of your soul's purpose is tied to.

We no longer pay homage to or sit at the feet of the folks in our families who've committed themselves to walk this long and winding road together. Nor the notables like, Bill and Camille Cosby, Ozzie Davis and Ruby Dee, Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Denzel and Pauletta Washington, who've also continued to hold one another's hand on this sweet and bitter journey. 

I must say that I grew up as one of those girls that didn't dream of getting married - ever, but to now be a woman who loves marriage so much that a significant part of Kevin and my life is dedicated to people living in healthy,  loving and Covenant marriages, all of this breaks my heart.

Marriage is not for the faint of heart. You need tough skin and the straightest backbone, coupled with God's understanding and design in order to remain in it. Otherwise marriage becomes futile and all of your efforts an exercise in exhaustion, frustration and a feeling of complete failure.

You will be tested in ways unknown to your human emotional stability. You will feel compelled to walk away often. You're never prepared for the fights or arguments, because no ones teaches you how to fight with someone that you're in Covenant with and know that it's ok because the deepest truths about us and our marriages often comes from conflict. 

You'll be challenged to be an example to walk upright, boldly, honestly, transparently and circumspectly, both privately and professionally - no matter who you are.

What's clear is this, when our perspective about something or someone is unclear, we will misuse and devalue it. I truly believe that that's exactly what's happened to marriage. Everything God has created has legacy and Eternal value attached to it, but we don't see marriage that way. I wonder why?

Follow me on Facebook at: Rhonda Ridley and Twitter: @ridley4life

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