Friday, September 7, 2012

Watch Your Mouths...Ladies

Good Morning Covenant Groupies,

This past Wednesday and Thursday evening I served as special guest/relationship expert with an amazing organization called, Girlfriends Pray. The organization founder, Dee Marshall hosts intimate conversations called, Girlfriends Pray Life Camp and created a forum called, "Wifey Material." 

Wifey Material sounds exactly like what it is: an opportunity for married women to become better wives for their husbands and for dating and waiting women to get a great start on what it means to be in a Covenant Marriage. 

I was asked to speak about how Kevin and I have come to have a marriage that looks happy and healthy. Also, to share any challenges that we had faced and how we came out victorious. Over two nights, we discussed everything from leadership, submission, dating, to sex, divorce, reconciliation and so much more.  

What I love most about when people ask me to speak is the fact that God always reminds where He's brought us from and that's such an amazing feeling. From the smallest to the bigger situations, God has been so merciful in our marriage and we do feel blessed.

One of the things I remembered these past few evenings was that at one time, early on in our marriage, I was a mean wife. I was mean because I was insecure, scared and unsure. My meanness was relegated to how I spoke to my husband; it wasn't nice at all. I was condescending, critical, disrespectful, rude and I often emasculated  Kevin with my words.
This behavior served, in part, to us talking divorce several times in our marriage and me living with a very angry man. Angry because he was not receiving the bare minimum - his due respect!

How awful I feel now when I think about all that I put him through. It took me a while to realize that I was taught to treat men this way so I saw absolutely nothing wrong with what I was doing. Admittedly, it was a difficult habit to break, but once I realized my fault I asked for forgiveness and quickly began to work on it. 

What I've learned, not just from this conversation, but from all of the women we talked to over the years, is that this is rampant in many homes; women talking crazy to their husbands. I'm clear that this is hard for us ladies - it's easier to fight our men with words, but we must choose that our husbands will receive our best all the time; our best words, responses and most importantly, respect.

I was so excited to be invited to be apart of this online chat and I am so amazed to say that I was incredibly surprised by how much I enjoyed Dee and the ladies. 

Thanks for helping me to remember who I was and where God has brought me from.

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