Hey Covenant Groupies,
It was after reading the below in "Sacred Marriage" in 2004, that I realized that "WHEN" was much more of a possibility than "IF." I was going to soon understand, believe, endure and struggle though more than I could have ever imaginged in this marriage, and "IF" only someone would have told me, the marriage truth.
In the 1940's, writer Katherine Anne Porter wrote an insightful essay about marriage and made a pivotal observation:
A woman found herself dismayed, horrified, full of guilt and forebodings because she is finding out little by little hat she is capable of hating her husband, whom she loves faithfully. She can hate him at times as fiercely and mysteriously, indeed in terribly much the same way, as often she hated her parents, her brothers and sisters, whom she loves, when she was a child...
At this time I was only married a year, so I couldn't quite grasp this observation -"Hate my husband, no way," was all I thought. Well, you can just imagine my surprise, when during a rough patch in our relationship, I had an incredible realization: I could hate my husband. At this moment I had to admit that, it wasn't "IF", but "WHEN" I was going to experience the terrible tribulations that many folks before me had endured and I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. This feeling, this spot was not reserved for my husband, but for people I considered enemies, people who hurt me, people who took advantage of me and now the man I took my Covenant vows with.
What do you do with feelings and emotions like this? I didn't know and I had no one to talk to. Well, I took a vertical stand and asked the Lord to show me what these feelings were about, why I had them and how do I overcome them. And He did.
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