Righteous Reflection

Hey Covenant Groupies,

I don't know about you, but growing up I often found it amusing to be able to see my reflection in a mirror, a car window or even a dinner plate. Juvenile Right? Maybe not so much!

Our lives are still commanded to be reflections. As Christians, God has mandated that we consistently reflect His love, life, mercy, pain, reconciliation and so much more on earth.

Ok you say, I know that. But today's post goes a bit further as we talk about reflections in marriage.

I remember first hearing this in the beginning of my marriage. I didn't like it, because all I saw was a fault filled man in Kevin that was assigned to ignite growth and maturity in me while exhibiting immaturity himself. What kind of reflector could he be, was my question.

What then was he going to reflect of me, but more blemishes, about me? Like I said, I didn't like the thought of that. He lived with me everyday and there would be some things he'd see in me that may not be so great; things I may have felt needed no changing at all.

Quickly, we were tested in that area when he confronted me about my speaking to him and my "not so wifely" tone of voice. Wow! I had never been confronted on that; I was raised this way. Talking forcefully and confidently was my way of life. Then, if you lived it to, you were perceived as an even stronger woman. Kevin, however was raising the standard and it was so very uncomfortable for me to hear this (here's the jab: from someone who had faults as well).

What I didn't grasp was that as well as I could see Kevin's faults, daily he was reflecting mine to me.

What I had to get pass was the fact the although faulted, Kevin was certainly going to be used by God to bring me into an even more righteous relationship with God.

That's exactly what's been happening for almost 8 years now. He's been the best mirror I've ever had the pleasure of being reflected in. He's honest, yet stern sometimes.

But regardless of how harsh or gentle he's being, I know with all my heart it's for my good and the upholding of the Covenant.

I trust him to keep me grounded. He always wants the best for me.

Because of Kevin, I've been reflected so much better than I thought I'd be.

Who's your Righteous Reflection?
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Our First Kiss Told Me...

Hey Covenant Groupies,

Just the other day I found a book that a really good friend gifted me with. She knew that I just loved kissing. I always had, since my Dad used to kiss me and so she bought me, "The Art of Kissing."

Yes people, there is an art to this act that we daily take for granted.

I've had this book for years and had misplaced it. When I found it, immediately I thought of Kevin and my kissing style(s). No, I'm not sharing that LOL! I wanted to share my simple thought about our very first kiss.

Read below:

He kissed me. He kissed me like it would be my lips that would save him - from himself, heal him - from all of life's pain and revive his soul - as God intended.

The kiss was, although quick, very intentional. I could tell he planned it. But why? Did he think if he asked I'd say no? Maybe, so he just went for it. And I'm so glad that he did!!!!

I will never forget that moment - Ever!!!!!
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Who Gets/Deserves Respect?

Hey Covenant Groupies,

Yeah Groupies I've been away for a while getting a great deal of work done. Most of it required that I be on set with client Kim Fields and I took some much needed time to re-group. Thanks so much for bearing with me.

I must tell you though about something that happened a few days ago that was so annoying. I had a conversation with a friend and we had some troubling dialogue. Allow me to invite you in.

Her: I'm tired of my husband asking so much of me. Doesn't he realize that I work a 9to5 just like him?

Me: What's he asking?

Her: For dinner, more alone time away from the kids, etc.

BREAK: her list was long, but totally not unreasonable

Me: Have you guys talked about this.

Her: Yes, but it just turns into an argument and quite frankly, I'm tired of having this discussion.

Me: At work, when your supervisor asks you to do something do you tell him "No" or argue about working a 9to5?

Her: Heck no, he signs my check.


Ok, now you all know that this just hit a HUGE nerve with me. It boggles my mind how we, women, will honor every other man, but leave the scraps for our husbands. We will honor our fathers, bosses, family friends, clergy (all rightfully so), but will pick. And choose moments to respect and honor our husbands.

We took very sacred vows, yet when it's time to live them out we just don't remember any of them.

Do we egotistically apply value to respect? Is that why our husbands fare so poorly in that area even though he, covenant, deserves it?

I have much more to say about this but I have to go now. Will pick back up tomorrow, but SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS MATTER please.
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I Can't Forgive You, or Can I?

Hey Covenant Groupies,

I've been on the set with Kim Fields so I've missed a few opportunites to blog. However, something interesting happened on set today. Check out how the conversation went down:
I was asked, "If you came home and found your spouse in bed with another woman, would you forgive them and/or consider staying married?"

Quickly, I responded, " First of all, it doesn't matter if it's in my bed or a hotel bed, initially I'd want to hurt them both, Yes I would" to both questions. The gentleman looked at me perplexed and said, "I couldn't forgive my wife and the relationship would be over."

Now I know marriage is hard and people even have their levels of tolerance, but it has always struck me funny how people have such a line down the middle mentality and apply it to a relationship as if a indiscresion in marriage has levels and degrees of punishment.

Now, I ask you, who are we to withhold forgiveness from anyone or to refuse them a second chance? Do we not all need forgiveness (for something and aren't we afforded 2nd chances daily?) Obviously God is better at this whole forgivess/2nd chance thing than we are, but doesn't He require us to behave as He would? I'm just sayin'.

Sure infidelity and any level of betrayal is devastating, but to list infidelity as the highest sin in marriage tells me that there may be no real foundation on which this relationship is standing.

There is a distinct difference between sex and the full scope of intimacy (physical, emotional, psychology, physiologically - you name it). Sex can be used to just fill a fleshly desire where as sitting on a computer shareing intimate life challenges and details, with the opposite sex, may be seen as far worse.

However you look at it, it's difficult, scary and taxing on a relationship with our spouse, friends, children, even God when infidelity creeps in.

Let's persevere to keep those pesky temptations out of our most intimate relationships.
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Choose to Celebrate!

Hey Covenant Groupies,

I just ran across something that was shared at one our churches' past couples retreat. What a great reminder that we ahould always seek to celebrate our Covenant.

As couples we should enjoy our marital relationships. Proverbs 5:18 exhorts us to: "Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth."

Rejoice is a verb, a word of action meaning to express ecstatic joy. God is telling us to celebrate!


Celebrating Marriage

C- Clear your conscience - Psalm 139:23-24

E- Encourage spiritual growth - Hebrews 10:24

L- Lower your defenses - Phillipian 2:4-5

E- Enlist in His Service - 2 Timothy 2:1-4

B- Bust up bitterness with forgiveness Hebrews 12:13, Colssians 3:12-13

R- Recreate together Mark 6:31-32

A- Adore God with Praise and Worship Together Psalm 150:1-6

T- Talk transparently Colssians 4:6, 1 Peter 1:15

I- Intimately Relate 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

N- Negotiate as a team Amos 3:3, Philippians 1:27

G- Giving honor to your mate Ephesians 5:22-29


Hope you enjoy!
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Love Times Two; Doesn't Equal ONE

Hey Covenant Groupies,

Yesterday's post has finally been released!!! Here it is.

Please know that, from me, this is a rhetorical question and somewhat dialogue. Today, there was a mini-debate about whether you can be in love with two people at the same time; to the same degree? I know that when we're discussing unconditional love the answer is NO! That's all that matters on this blog.

However, lustful, romantic and conditional love always leaves room for another love to drop on by, take a squat and even compete for what you already thought was love; often, even to the same degree. Certainly, someone is being cheated out of what each of us truly deserves; not only the lover, but the object of that person's love. How awful!

Anytime love is unconditional, nothing can move into that space except any and all things unconditional.

From the mind where conditions reside though, there is a belief that loving two people at the same time is not only possible, but healthy.

Didn't we do stupid things like that when we were children; had an extra person around just in case the first relationship didn't work out? How ridiculous!!!!!

We did that out of fear, insecurity, uncertainty, immaturity, you name it. But now we're adults, why do we still look at love as this dispendable commodity that can be passed from person to person. Don't we lose something when we float from one relationship to another without first examining where we went wrong, how we are at fault for its demise and what needs to be changed in us before we move on?

Love loosely if you want, and you'll find youself by yourself. No one wants to compete for love that they rightfully deserve; and they shouldn't.

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Where is Today's Blog????? Stuck in my Blackberry

Hey Covenant Groupies,

Please know that we have a post for today, but it is currently being held hostage by my Blackberry. Yes, I have recently found it much more convenient to blog from my phone; forcing me, of course to depend way too much on it. Although convenient, sometimes Blackberry creates great annoyances in my life; like hold important information hostage.

Please be patient.

Be on the lookout for today's post tonight or early in the morning.