Hey Covenant Groupies,
For some time now, I've not been amazed by how many couples are struggling with issues in their marriages, but I have been amazed how folks have CHOSEN to use sex - one of the most sacred gfts God has given us - in their marital relationships as weapons, objects of punishment and control,even manipulation and power stuggles.
I began to re-read,"Sacred Sex" by Tim Alan Gardner and immediately this is what was beautiful about delving into this book for the third time. I've forgotten as I suppose many ot you have. But, read it carefully and share your thoughts.
"Since God placed the physical union of sex at the core of His teaching about oneness – by way of creation as well as revelation – then that deep truth should bear some imprint on how we live in marriage. When God introduced the first couple to the concept of oneness, physical union was the method He created to make it happen. Sex was to be the way that a husband and wife were to touch each other’s soul.
In sex, there is the profound opportunity to explore and experience God’s deepest truths about oneness, mystery and love. There is something sanctified about sex. Sex is Holy!!!! God set it apart and gave it great spiritual purpose.
It’s a sacred place shared in the intimacy of marriage. It’s an act of worship, a sacrament of marriage that invites and welcomes the very presence of God. That’s the meaning and benefit of holy sex. God is present in a very real way every time this happens."
When was the last time you touched your spouses soul during sex? Do you know how to accomplish such a task? When was the last time you invited and welcomed God into your bedroom?
Are these things we think about before, during or after?
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Church - The Sex Talk Continues!!!! Part #2
Hey Covenant Groupies,
The sex talk continues. It's unfortunate that we haven't been able to post since Tuesday. I know I promised to post part two on Thursday, but I completely forgot just how busy I'd be for the Thanksgiving holiday. But without further postponement, here's part #2.
MARTIN: And it was part of a - is part of the issue here to present marriage as something very special and apart?
Rev. SPENCER: No doubt about it. You know, when Adam woke up and saw Eve, he said, finally, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. He was excited and rightfully so, because when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing, the Bible says. And so, we're trying to bring back the joy of being married in that people can rediscover that I have more freedom being married than I did, you know, when I was without. And so, there's a wholeness and completeness when two whole people get together and discover the blissfulness and the joy of great sex.
MARTIN: If you're just joining us, this is Tell Me More from NPR News. I'm joined by the Reverends Stacy Spencer and Charlie Arehart, and they're talking about dealing with sexuality in the church. Reverend Arehart, what about that? How do you deal with that whole question of the marriage covenant and the specialness of the bond between two persons who are committed to each other with a congregation who, in some jurisdictions, their relationships may be acknowledged, formally and publicly, but in others, not? And it's obviously a big topic of public conversation, a very heated and controversial topic. So, how do you deal with that?
Rev. AREHART: Right.
MARTIN: In your community?
Rev. AREHART: The Reverend Dr. Norman Pittenger, Anglican theologian and pastor, said years ago in a lecture, sex is good; sex with somebody you know and value as a friend is better; sex with somebody with whom you're deeply in love and in a long-term, meaningful relationship is best. But sex is good. Now, we approach it from that perspective. We encourage people to experience the best, which would be deep, personal love, sexuality explored in all of its magnificent dimensions, within that bond of gay, lesbian, transgender, heterosexual marriage, but we also would certainly say to the person who is single that, if you know your partner and if you love and care about your partner, that is good. And we would make room for the individual who is also having a less than well-known encounter, perhaps.
MARTIN: Really? How do you set boundaries around - how do you set boundaries? Or do you feel that's not your job?
Rev. AREHART: Well, I'm a follower of Jesus, and I believe the great commandment is to love one another, and love is the great defining - and any human action which is an unloving action is sin for me, and we teach that. And human sexuality, when we take advantage of another, exploit another, violate the covenant, either which we've made or the covenant of another knowingly, is wrong because it's not a loving, caring act.
MARTIN: Reverend Spencer, you mentioned that sexual issues are a cause of a friction among Christian couples, just like among other couples. What were you talking about? Were you specifically referring to infidelity? And the other thing I wanted to ask you about is, what about that question of people who, even though they may be married, might be having questions about their sexual identity? How do you address that?
Rev. SPENCER: You know, in my talking with the married couples, there are a lot issues that come out there. There's adultery; there's masturbation; there's pornography. We call those sexual exits. Whenever you are not gratified, specifically by your spouse, those are sexual exits. And so, that can lead to adultery, physical and spiritual. And so, we try to go back and help people to explore those things that have caused those exits, and in some sense, there might be someone in a marriage who's struggling with their sexual identity. And that's where, you know, through a process of the Imago Dialogue, that people are able to discuss their inner desires and struggles with their spouse without being judged. A lot of people are afraid to talk with their spouses because they feel that they'll be judged for being too sexual or too freaky or too perverted, but when you're able to honestly share out of love and not be judged by your spouse, it opens up an arena where people can become whole and talk about who they are. And so, that dialogue is very important, but I teach in my book, "Naked and Unashamed," how to approach that dialogue, so that people don't feel like I'm going to be condemned by my spouse.
MARTIN: OK, and Reverend Arehart, I want to give you the final word. Do you feel that you're making progress? I don't know if - how you would gauge such a thing in helping members of the congregation to fuse, say, the physical and the spiritual in the way that is healthier?
Rev. AREHART: Absolutely, yes. And you know, I'm going to read his book.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Rev. AREHART: And we are going to have some classes for our couples because everything he's said about developing that kind of holistic approach to human sexuality within the bonds of that great love relationship, I agree with.
MARTIN: The Reverend Charlie Arehart is the interim pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C. He was kind enough to join us in our Washington, D.C., studio. The Reverend Stacy Spencer is the pastor of the New Direction Christian Church in Memphis, Tennessee, and he was kind of enough to join me from member station WKNO in Memphis. Gentlemen, I thank you both so much for speaking with us, and Happy Valentine's Day.
Rev. AREHART: Happy Valentine's to you as well. Bye-bye.
Rev. SPENCER: Thank you, Michel.
MARTIN: And of course, with Tell Me More, the conversation never ends. You just heard our two clergy members address the importance of intimacy. Now, we'd like to hear from you. Has your place of worship taken on the matters of sexuality, not just what not to do, but what to do? How do you feel about that? Do you wish your faith leaders would say more about matters of intimacy and sexuality, or maybe you think they talk too much about such matters and need to say less?
The sex talk continues. It's unfortunate that we haven't been able to post since Tuesday. I know I promised to post part two on Thursday, but I completely forgot just how busy I'd be for the Thanksgiving holiday. But without further postponement, here's part #2.
MARTIN: And it was part of a - is part of the issue here to present marriage as something very special and apart?
Rev. SPENCER: No doubt about it. You know, when Adam woke up and saw Eve, he said, finally, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. He was excited and rightfully so, because when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing, the Bible says. And so, we're trying to bring back the joy of being married in that people can rediscover that I have more freedom being married than I did, you know, when I was without. And so, there's a wholeness and completeness when two whole people get together and discover the blissfulness and the joy of great sex.
MARTIN: If you're just joining us, this is Tell Me More from NPR News. I'm joined by the Reverends Stacy Spencer and Charlie Arehart, and they're talking about dealing with sexuality in the church. Reverend Arehart, what about that? How do you deal with that whole question of the marriage covenant and the specialness of the bond between two persons who are committed to each other with a congregation who, in some jurisdictions, their relationships may be acknowledged, formally and publicly, but in others, not? And it's obviously a big topic of public conversation, a very heated and controversial topic. So, how do you deal with that?
Rev. AREHART: Right.
MARTIN: In your community?
Rev. AREHART: The Reverend Dr. Norman Pittenger, Anglican theologian and pastor, said years ago in a lecture, sex is good; sex with somebody you know and value as a friend is better; sex with somebody with whom you're deeply in love and in a long-term, meaningful relationship is best. But sex is good. Now, we approach it from that perspective. We encourage people to experience the best, which would be deep, personal love, sexuality explored in all of its magnificent dimensions, within that bond of gay, lesbian, transgender, heterosexual marriage, but we also would certainly say to the person who is single that, if you know your partner and if you love and care about your partner, that is good. And we would make room for the individual who is also having a less than well-known encounter, perhaps.
MARTIN: Really? How do you set boundaries around - how do you set boundaries? Or do you feel that's not your job?
Rev. AREHART: Well, I'm a follower of Jesus, and I believe the great commandment is to love one another, and love is the great defining - and any human action which is an unloving action is sin for me, and we teach that. And human sexuality, when we take advantage of another, exploit another, violate the covenant, either which we've made or the covenant of another knowingly, is wrong because it's not a loving, caring act.
MARTIN: Reverend Spencer, you mentioned that sexual issues are a cause of a friction among Christian couples, just like among other couples. What were you talking about? Were you specifically referring to infidelity? And the other thing I wanted to ask you about is, what about that question of people who, even though they may be married, might be having questions about their sexual identity? How do you address that?
Rev. SPENCER: You know, in my talking with the married couples, there are a lot issues that come out there. There's adultery; there's masturbation; there's pornography. We call those sexual exits. Whenever you are not gratified, specifically by your spouse, those are sexual exits. And so, that can lead to adultery, physical and spiritual. And so, we try to go back and help people to explore those things that have caused those exits, and in some sense, there might be someone in a marriage who's struggling with their sexual identity. And that's where, you know, through a process of the Imago Dialogue, that people are able to discuss their inner desires and struggles with their spouse without being judged. A lot of people are afraid to talk with their spouses because they feel that they'll be judged for being too sexual or too freaky or too perverted, but when you're able to honestly share out of love and not be judged by your spouse, it opens up an arena where people can become whole and talk about who they are. And so, that dialogue is very important, but I teach in my book, "Naked and Unashamed," how to approach that dialogue, so that people don't feel like I'm going to be condemned by my spouse.
MARTIN: OK, and Reverend Arehart, I want to give you the final word. Do you feel that you're making progress? I don't know if - how you would gauge such a thing in helping members of the congregation to fuse, say, the physical and the spiritual in the way that is healthier?
Rev. AREHART: Absolutely, yes. And you know, I'm going to read his book.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Rev. AREHART: And we are going to have some classes for our couples because everything he's said about developing that kind of holistic approach to human sexuality within the bonds of that great love relationship, I agree with.
MARTIN: The Reverend Charlie Arehart is the interim pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, D.C. He was kind enough to join us in our Washington, D.C., studio. The Reverend Stacy Spencer is the pastor of the New Direction Christian Church in Memphis, Tennessee, and he was kind of enough to join me from member station WKNO in Memphis. Gentlemen, I thank you both so much for speaking with us, and Happy Valentine's Day.
Rev. AREHART: Happy Valentine's to you as well. Bye-bye.
Rev. SPENCER: Thank you, Michel.
MARTIN: And of course, with Tell Me More, the conversation never ends. You just heard our two clergy members address the importance of intimacy. Now, we'd like to hear from you. Has your place of worship taken on the matters of sexuality, not just what not to do, but what to do? How do you feel about that? Do you wish your faith leaders would say more about matters of intimacy and sexuality, or maybe you think they talk too much about such matters and need to say less?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Church - The Sex Talk Continues!!!! Part #1
Hey Covenant Groupies,
Keeping in line with the sex discussion started yesterday, I found this interesting coonversation on NPR, hosted by Michel Martin. It's quite long, so we'll break it up into 2 parts. Part 2 will go up on Thursday.
Today, we're talking about sex and the church. Now, talking about sexuality can be uncomfortable in just about any form, but in a place of worship? But the topic of sexuality is being raised in some churches to try to help members grapple with how sexuality and intimacy affect their lives. Joining me to talk about this are two ministers who've been dealing with this issue in their respective churches. The Reverend Charlie Arehart is interim pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church in Washington, D.C. The church ministers primarily to the gay and lesbian community. Also with us, the Reverend Stacy Spencer, who is pastor of the New Direction Christian Church in Memphis, Tennessee. It has a predominantly African-American congregation. I welcome you both to the program. Thank you so much for speaking with us.
The Reverend CHARLIE AREHART (Interim Pastor, Metropolitan Community Church, Washington, D.C.): Thank you, Michel.
The Reverend STACY SPENCER (New Direction Christian Church, Memphis, Tennessee): It's great to be with you.
MARTIN: Now Reverend - both of you, I should mention that in a way, it shouldn't be surprising that the clergy, that the churches, want to deal with such an important issue in people's lives. But I think that a lot of people are used to thinking about the church's role in talking about sex as mainly, stop, don't, no. So, Rev. Spencer, I wanted to talk to you because you initiated a five-week program at your church last year called 40 Nights of Great Sex, where the emphasis was on helping married couples revive and maintain the spark in their marriages. What persuaded you to start this program?
Rev. SPENCER: Well, Michel, we noticed that the divorce rate for Christian married people was equivalent to that of non-Christian people, and that alarmed me to see so many people in the church getting divorced, and so many sexual issues plaguing the congregation and congregation universal. I thought it was time to speak up about it and to take back the sanctity of marriage, and to help infuse a healthy dose of sexuality to our married folk to let them know that just because you're married, you don't have to stop having fun, and the world has perverted our sexuality, and we wanted to take it back and help them to celebrate it and embrace it.
MARTIN: What's that like, though? I can imagine where it might be awkward for couples to, in a context of a church community - I can see where they might persuade themselves to talk one on one or as a couple with a clergy person who's a trusted part of their lives, but to sort of - to have these conversations as part of a congregational group?
Rev. SPENCER: Yeah, you know...
MARTIN: People were feeling that?
Rev. SPENCER: Yeah. It was kind of awkward at first, but you know, the whole point of that session that we had was to take them back to Genesis, where the Bible says, Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. And there has been a lot of shame associated with sexuality because we have not talked about it in church. So initially, there was some awkwardness, but once we begin to break down the theology of sex and that God created sex for a man and a woman to enjoy together in the sanctity of marriage, it broke down a lot of defenses and a lot of miseducation that people have received through the years.
MARTIN: And Reverend Arehart, as we mentioned, you minister to a congregation that has a significant number of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transsexual members. How do you talk about matters of sex and intimacy in your church?
Rev. AREHART: In a very similar way.
MARTIN: OK.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Rev. AREHART: By that, I mean human beings are human beings, whether we're heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered. And love is love, and all of us are created sexual beings. God created, and it is good, very good.
MARTIN: Do you have any formal discussion groups around this issue? And one of the reasons I was curious about this, to be honest with you, is that I feel that, sort of, gays and lesbians sometimes feel that society defines them by their sexuality, and part of the challenge is to be seen as whole persons. So, I wonder whether there's some resistance to saying, gee, the whole reason - part of the reason I'm here is to be seen as a person, not just as a function of my sexuality. So, is it then to get people to then engage on that question? How is that?
Rev. AREHART: You are exactly right. It's difficult in MCC sometimes to get the subject on the table for discussion, because we are more than just sexual beings, and society views us as single-issue people. You're absolutely right.
MARTIN: How do you overcome that resistance?
Rev. AREHART: By putting it out there anyway and saying, OK, come on, we've got to discuss this.
MARTIN: Reverend Spencer, same question to you, in that I think that African-Americans have also been stereotyped in terms of their sexuality. They've been seen as sort of hypersexual, both genders, and I think that there's some pushback against that, particularly in the churches, and so that, I think, causes some folks to not want to talk about sex, not want to be seen as sexual, because they want to be seen as the stereotype. Have you encountered that, and how do you deal with that?
Rev. SPENCER: Yeah, there is a sense of sexuality being blown out of proportion through the media, with the rap videos and the sexism that you see in a lot of rap music, but we are trying to take back the whole idea of holistic sexuality. You know, Hebrews 13:4 says that the marriage bed is undefiled when you're married and so, it's all good in the marriage bed. But to stick our heads in the proverbial sand and to think that, you know, we're going to survive by just ignoring the sexual plight of our young people is ludicrous. So, we have to begin to have honest and open discussion about sexuality as God meant it to be, you know, in the marriage bed. And so, that's what we're trying to do, you know, through our program. I even have a book coming out called "Naked and Unashamed," where I talk - rediscover the blissfulness of sexuality and bring it back to the marriage bed.
MARTIN: In fact, I noticed that you require proof of marriage to participate in your seminars, is that right?
Rev. SPENCER: Oh, yeah, because we get very detailed in our Bible study and our classes about the human anatomy and how to please your partner and so, I have to have proof before they come in there because we don't want anybody peeping that ain't supposed to be in there peeping. And so - yeah.
(Soundbite of laughter)
MARTIN: Is that so? Because you figured they wouldn't figure it out without - I'm sorry, I'm just...
Rev. SPENCER: No, because there's a standard. You know, we don't believe that sex outside of marriage is God's will and so, I don't want to teach any singles or anybody that's not married about the details of how to please your partner or the theology of sex, because we believe that that is between two people in a marriage covenant.
Keeping in line with the sex discussion started yesterday, I found this interesting coonversation on NPR, hosted by Michel Martin. It's quite long, so we'll break it up into 2 parts. Part 2 will go up on Thursday.
Today, we're talking about sex and the church. Now, talking about sexuality can be uncomfortable in just about any form, but in a place of worship? But the topic of sexuality is being raised in some churches to try to help members grapple with how sexuality and intimacy affect their lives. Joining me to talk about this are two ministers who've been dealing with this issue in their respective churches. The Reverend Charlie Arehart is interim pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church in Washington, D.C. The church ministers primarily to the gay and lesbian community. Also with us, the Reverend Stacy Spencer, who is pastor of the New Direction Christian Church in Memphis, Tennessee. It has a predominantly African-American congregation. I welcome you both to the program. Thank you so much for speaking with us.
The Reverend CHARLIE AREHART (Interim Pastor, Metropolitan Community Church, Washington, D.C.): Thank you, Michel.
The Reverend STACY SPENCER (New Direction Christian Church, Memphis, Tennessee): It's great to be with you.
MARTIN: Now Reverend - both of you, I should mention that in a way, it shouldn't be surprising that the clergy, that the churches, want to deal with such an important issue in people's lives. But I think that a lot of people are used to thinking about the church's role in talking about sex as mainly, stop, don't, no. So, Rev. Spencer, I wanted to talk to you because you initiated a five-week program at your church last year called 40 Nights of Great Sex, where the emphasis was on helping married couples revive and maintain the spark in their marriages. What persuaded you to start this program?
Rev. SPENCER: Well, Michel, we noticed that the divorce rate for Christian married people was equivalent to that of non-Christian people, and that alarmed me to see so many people in the church getting divorced, and so many sexual issues plaguing the congregation and congregation universal. I thought it was time to speak up about it and to take back the sanctity of marriage, and to help infuse a healthy dose of sexuality to our married folk to let them know that just because you're married, you don't have to stop having fun, and the world has perverted our sexuality, and we wanted to take it back and help them to celebrate it and embrace it.
MARTIN: What's that like, though? I can imagine where it might be awkward for couples to, in a context of a church community - I can see where they might persuade themselves to talk one on one or as a couple with a clergy person who's a trusted part of their lives, but to sort of - to have these conversations as part of a congregational group?
Rev. SPENCER: Yeah, you know...
MARTIN: People were feeling that?
Rev. SPENCER: Yeah. It was kind of awkward at first, but you know, the whole point of that session that we had was to take them back to Genesis, where the Bible says, Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. And there has been a lot of shame associated with sexuality because we have not talked about it in church. So initially, there was some awkwardness, but once we begin to break down the theology of sex and that God created sex for a man and a woman to enjoy together in the sanctity of marriage, it broke down a lot of defenses and a lot of miseducation that people have received through the years.
MARTIN: And Reverend Arehart, as we mentioned, you minister to a congregation that has a significant number of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transsexual members. How do you talk about matters of sex and intimacy in your church?
Rev. AREHART: In a very similar way.
MARTIN: OK.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Rev. AREHART: By that, I mean human beings are human beings, whether we're heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bi, transgendered. And love is love, and all of us are created sexual beings. God created, and it is good, very good.
MARTIN: Do you have any formal discussion groups around this issue? And one of the reasons I was curious about this, to be honest with you, is that I feel that, sort of, gays and lesbians sometimes feel that society defines them by their sexuality, and part of the challenge is to be seen as whole persons. So, I wonder whether there's some resistance to saying, gee, the whole reason - part of the reason I'm here is to be seen as a person, not just as a function of my sexuality. So, is it then to get people to then engage on that question? How is that?
Rev. AREHART: You are exactly right. It's difficult in MCC sometimes to get the subject on the table for discussion, because we are more than just sexual beings, and society views us as single-issue people. You're absolutely right.
MARTIN: How do you overcome that resistance?
Rev. AREHART: By putting it out there anyway and saying, OK, come on, we've got to discuss this.
MARTIN: Reverend Spencer, same question to you, in that I think that African-Americans have also been stereotyped in terms of their sexuality. They've been seen as sort of hypersexual, both genders, and I think that there's some pushback against that, particularly in the churches, and so that, I think, causes some folks to not want to talk about sex, not want to be seen as sexual, because they want to be seen as the stereotype. Have you encountered that, and how do you deal with that?
Rev. SPENCER: Yeah, there is a sense of sexuality being blown out of proportion through the media, with the rap videos and the sexism that you see in a lot of rap music, but we are trying to take back the whole idea of holistic sexuality. You know, Hebrews 13:4 says that the marriage bed is undefiled when you're married and so, it's all good in the marriage bed. But to stick our heads in the proverbial sand and to think that, you know, we're going to survive by just ignoring the sexual plight of our young people is ludicrous. So, we have to begin to have honest and open discussion about sexuality as God meant it to be, you know, in the marriage bed. And so, that's what we're trying to do, you know, through our program. I even have a book coming out called "Naked and Unashamed," where I talk - rediscover the blissfulness of sexuality and bring it back to the marriage bed.
MARTIN: In fact, I noticed that you require proof of marriage to participate in your seminars, is that right?
Rev. SPENCER: Oh, yeah, because we get very detailed in our Bible study and our classes about the human anatomy and how to please your partner and so, I have to have proof before they come in there because we don't want anybody peeping that ain't supposed to be in there peeping. And so - yeah.
(Soundbite of laughter)
MARTIN: Is that so? Because you figured they wouldn't figure it out without - I'm sorry, I'm just...
Rev. SPENCER: No, because there's a standard. You know, we don't believe that sex outside of marriage is God's will and so, I don't want to teach any singles or anybody that's not married about the details of how to please your partner or the theology of sex, because we believe that that is between two people in a marriage covenant.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Church - Let's Talk about Sex!!!!
Hey Covenant Groupies,
As I contemplated a topic for today, after being MIA since last Wednesday, I was led to share some thoughts on sex!
After asking the Lord which way to go, He reminded me of Pastor Ed Young who challenged his church to a "sexperiment." He asked his married congregants to have sex everyday for 7 days.
His thoughts on the subject were that he could tell the temperature of a marital relationship by the couples sex life. As well, since we, the church have allowed the world to pervert sex, God's gift to married folk, then we should be willing to talk about it openly and engage in it - BOLDLY. He's also asking that couples share their thoughts about the 7 days in a journal.
Now, as I remembered seeing this challenge on TV, I loved it then and I love it now. I believe the church should NEVER allow folks to get married and leave them to their own devices in any aspect of marriage and especially in the bedroom. But I digress.
I began to ask, "Why is it so necessary for the church to step into the bedroom of married couples? Although I know it's correct and it is God' way, my question was more rhetorical than literal, besides God's Word says, "that EVERYTHING that God created is GOOD." I believe this wholeheartedly and I suppose if we were to have anyone invade our bedrooms, it would only make sense that it's the church; the leaders that God has appointed to oversee us and the group of church family that's seeking to live life according to God's Will alongside us. OK, got it.
Now, after "getting it," again I wonder, "What next?" Exactly, where do we go from here?" Couples step up to the plate and actually have sex for 7 days, now what? Do we allow one another to coast into another "wall" of distruction? As you see: 1) I don't have issues with the challenge or the church talking about and supporting healthy sex between married couples, but 2) I do have plenty of questions about consistency, longevity, sustainability etc.
Kevin and I want the challenge to work we're just afraid the solution may be temporary.
Share your thoughts on this subject
As I contemplated a topic for today, after being MIA since last Wednesday, I was led to share some thoughts on sex!
After asking the Lord which way to go, He reminded me of Pastor Ed Young who challenged his church to a "sexperiment." He asked his married congregants to have sex everyday for 7 days.
His thoughts on the subject were that he could tell the temperature of a marital relationship by the couples sex life. As well, since we, the church have allowed the world to pervert sex, God's gift to married folk, then we should be willing to talk about it openly and engage in it - BOLDLY. He's also asking that couples share their thoughts about the 7 days in a journal.
Now, as I remembered seeing this challenge on TV, I loved it then and I love it now. I believe the church should NEVER allow folks to get married and leave them to their own devices in any aspect of marriage and especially in the bedroom. But I digress.
I began to ask, "Why is it so necessary for the church to step into the bedroom of married couples? Although I know it's correct and it is God' way, my question was more rhetorical than literal, besides God's Word says, "that EVERYTHING that God created is GOOD." I believe this wholeheartedly and I suppose if we were to have anyone invade our bedrooms, it would only make sense that it's the church; the leaders that God has appointed to oversee us and the group of church family that's seeking to live life according to God's Will alongside us. OK, got it.
Now, after "getting it," again I wonder, "What next?" Exactly, where do we go from here?" Couples step up to the plate and actually have sex for 7 days, now what? Do we allow one another to coast into another "wall" of distruction? As you see: 1) I don't have issues with the challenge or the church talking about and supporting healthy sex between married couples, but 2) I do have plenty of questions about consistency, longevity, sustainability etc.
Kevin and I want the challenge to work we're just afraid the solution may be temporary.
Share your thoughts on this subject
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
QUESTION OF THE DAY!
Hey Covenat Groupies,
Got a great question for you: If someone were to watch you from a distance for a few weeks, what would they say you love the most? Is this what you want them to see?
Got a great question for you: If someone were to watch you from a distance for a few weeks, what would they say you love the most? Is this what you want them to see?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
COURAGEOUS - Sherwood Church - New Film on Fatherhood
Hey Covenant Groupies,
The creators of "Fireproof announced the name and synopsis of their new film that goes into production Spring of 2010. Read below:
Sherwood Church, home of the hit independent movies FLYWHEEL (DVD only), FACING THE GIANTS, and FIREPROOF (2008’s top indie film), at its Sunday evening service tonight, announced the theme and title for Sherwood Pictures’ fourth movie. Senior Pastor Michael Catt, Executive Pastor Jim McBride, and ministers Stephen and Alex Kendrick—collectively the leadership team of Sherwood Pictures—made the announcement.
“The movie is about fatherhood and the title is one word: COURAGEOUS,” Alex Kendrick said, briefly outlining the plot. “Four fathers who are all in law enforcement—who protect and serve together—go through a terrible tragedy,” he said. “They begin looking at their role as fathers . . . and they begin challenging one another to fulfill God’s intention for fathers."
That single-word title, Pastor Catt said, echoes God’s call for men to “rise with courage” in their homes and as leaders. This at a time when 4 of 10 marriages end in divorce* and more than a third of all children live away from their biological fathers.
“The statistics on fatherless children are devastating,” McBride said. “And because the family is the building block of society, one important place to rebuild families is through fathers who stay and lead and love."
“God led us,” co-writer and producer Stephen Kendrick said to the audience of church members, many of them volunteer crew, cast, or catering in earlier Sherwood movies. “We believe God is calling men to rise up with strength and with leadership in their homes, with their families and with their children."
"For more then a year we’ve prayed to be sure that we’re pursuing God’s idea and not our own,” Catt said. “With action, drama, and humor, this film will embrace God’s promise in the Bible to, turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers."
Focusing on Fatherhood
“We focus on the crucial role of father; it’s not just to be a father who loves his kids,” said Alex Kendrick, co-writer/director of COURAGEOUS. “It’s to be engaged with a purpose—to be a father on purpose."
All four leaders of Sherwood Pictures are husbands and fathers. Pastor Catt has two children; Pastor McBride has four; Stephen Kendrick has four; and Alex Kendrick has six.
More Than a Movie
Sherwood movies entertain as they touch audiences where they live, and they show the means to live more fully through faith in God. FLYWHEEL focused on compromise and business integrity; FACING THE GIANTS on despair and hope; FIREPROOF on a dying marriage rekindled.
With previous Sherwood movies, fans, churches, and organizations across the country (and world) became “partners” in the movie’s impact—giving prayer support for production, distribution, and the movies’ messages. Ministries and outreaches used the films in creative ways. Churches built series and group studies on the topics; Sunday schools seized the momentum of good entertainment that emphasizes life-changing truths.
“It’s been the Bible’s story of Jesus multiplying the boy’s fish and loaves,” Alex Kendrick said. “God has multiplied these movies beyond our wildest dreams."
Principle filming of COURAGEOUS begins March 2010 in Albany. Like the previous three Sherwood films, COURAGEOUS will be marketed by Provident Films.
Sherwood Pictures is a ministry of Sherwood Church of Albany, Georgia, under the leadership of Senior Pastor Michael Catt and Executive Pastor Jim McBride.
For mor information go to: www.CourageoustheMovie.com
The creators of "Fireproof announced the name and synopsis of their new film that goes into production Spring of 2010. Read below:
Sherwood Church, home of the hit independent movies FLYWHEEL (DVD only), FACING THE GIANTS, and FIREPROOF (2008’s top indie film), at its Sunday evening service tonight, announced the theme and title for Sherwood Pictures’ fourth movie. Senior Pastor Michael Catt, Executive Pastor Jim McBride, and ministers Stephen and Alex Kendrick—collectively the leadership team of Sherwood Pictures—made the announcement.
“The movie is about fatherhood and the title is one word: COURAGEOUS,” Alex Kendrick said, briefly outlining the plot. “Four fathers who are all in law enforcement—who protect and serve together—go through a terrible tragedy,” he said. “They begin looking at their role as fathers . . . and they begin challenging one another to fulfill God’s intention for fathers."
That single-word title, Pastor Catt said, echoes God’s call for men to “rise with courage” in their homes and as leaders. This at a time when 4 of 10 marriages end in divorce* and more than a third of all children live away from their biological fathers.
“The statistics on fatherless children are devastating,” McBride said. “And because the family is the building block of society, one important place to rebuild families is through fathers who stay and lead and love."
“God led us,” co-writer and producer Stephen Kendrick said to the audience of church members, many of them volunteer crew, cast, or catering in earlier Sherwood movies. “We believe God is calling men to rise up with strength and with leadership in their homes, with their families and with their children."
"For more then a year we’ve prayed to be sure that we’re pursuing God’s idea and not our own,” Catt said. “With action, drama, and humor, this film will embrace God’s promise in the Bible to, turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers."
Focusing on Fatherhood
“We focus on the crucial role of father; it’s not just to be a father who loves his kids,” said Alex Kendrick, co-writer/director of COURAGEOUS. “It’s to be engaged with a purpose—to be a father on purpose."
All four leaders of Sherwood Pictures are husbands and fathers. Pastor Catt has two children; Pastor McBride has four; Stephen Kendrick has four; and Alex Kendrick has six.
More Than a Movie
Sherwood movies entertain as they touch audiences where they live, and they show the means to live more fully through faith in God. FLYWHEEL focused on compromise and business integrity; FACING THE GIANTS on despair and hope; FIREPROOF on a dying marriage rekindled.
With previous Sherwood movies, fans, churches, and organizations across the country (and world) became “partners” in the movie’s impact—giving prayer support for production, distribution, and the movies’ messages. Ministries and outreaches used the films in creative ways. Churches built series and group studies on the topics; Sunday schools seized the momentum of good entertainment that emphasizes life-changing truths.
“It’s been the Bible’s story of Jesus multiplying the boy’s fish and loaves,” Alex Kendrick said. “God has multiplied these movies beyond our wildest dreams."
Principle filming of COURAGEOUS begins March 2010 in Albany. Like the previous three Sherwood films, COURAGEOUS will be marketed by Provident Films.
Sherwood Pictures is a ministry of Sherwood Church of Albany, Georgia, under the leadership of Senior Pastor Michael Catt and Executive Pastor Jim McBride.
For mor information go to: www.CourageoustheMovie.com
Monday, November 16, 2009
Burden Bearing - Costly But Worth It!!!!!
Hey covenant Groupies,
Have you ever noticed how painful life becomes when you step out on faith and really commit to help others in or out of the Kingdom? Maybe this is why Christians won't bother to carry the burdens of other Christian folk. It's tooo much????
Well, for the past 4 1/2 weeks Kevin and I have been getting non-stop calls from about four couples in marital distress. For hours, we've shared biblical and martial counsel - morning, noon and night with much apprehension and exhaustion from the couples. The causes of the stress range from just being tired of spouses behavior to not receiving love, support and affection.
Because we know this is our calling, Kevin and I discussed each situation, checked scripture and prayed for the couples. And almost immediately, our marriage was under attack. Kevin and I began to fight night and day over the one subject we've never fought over - Money!!!!!
We'd fight at home, in public, right before church, you name it, we were not letting up on one another. It was ugly. I dare not blame the enemy, although he's partly to blame, because he took old issues and hurts and brought those bad-boys to the surface but Kevin and I let it go on longer than necessary of our own valition. Egos, stubborness, anger and a myriad of emotions led the way. It wasn't until we both decided, while in church, to make amends, came home talk about it and apologize. It wasn't easy, but necessary.
I know scripture commands us to carry one another's burdens, and did not Jesus say, "If they crucified me, they will crucify you?" and that "the enemy comes to seek, steal and destroy." So, I knew this would possibly happen, but the degree was not comfortable.
Our and Your Lesson Here: We can't allow a bit of uncomfortability to prevent us from bearing the burden of others, especially when it's part of our purpose and calling in life. Jesus did it and so should we - gladly
Have you ever noticed how painful life becomes when you step out on faith and really commit to help others in or out of the Kingdom? Maybe this is why Christians won't bother to carry the burdens of other Christian folk. It's tooo much????
Well, for the past 4 1/2 weeks Kevin and I have been getting non-stop calls from about four couples in marital distress. For hours, we've shared biblical and martial counsel - morning, noon and night with much apprehension and exhaustion from the couples. The causes of the stress range from just being tired of spouses behavior to not receiving love, support and affection.
Because we know this is our calling, Kevin and I discussed each situation, checked scripture and prayed for the couples. And almost immediately, our marriage was under attack. Kevin and I began to fight night and day over the one subject we've never fought over - Money!!!!!
We'd fight at home, in public, right before church, you name it, we were not letting up on one another. It was ugly. I dare not blame the enemy, although he's partly to blame, because he took old issues and hurts and brought those bad-boys to the surface but Kevin and I let it go on longer than necessary of our own valition. Egos, stubborness, anger and a myriad of emotions led the way. It wasn't until we both decided, while in church, to make amends, came home talk about it and apologize. It wasn't easy, but necessary.
I know scripture commands us to carry one another's burdens, and did not Jesus say, "If they crucified me, they will crucify you?" and that "the enemy comes to seek, steal and destroy." So, I knew this would possibly happen, but the degree was not comfortable.
Our and Your Lesson Here: We can't allow a bit of uncomfortability to prevent us from bearing the burden of others, especially when it's part of our purpose and calling in life. Jesus did it and so should we - gladly
Friday, November 13, 2009
Exhausted!!!!
Hey Covenant Groupies,
I have had one of the most exhausting weeks in a long time. Believe me, I'm not complaining, I'm just sayin'. I've been so engrossed I haven't even had telephone, text or date night time with my sweetie. Come to think of it, neither has he!! What's up with that? You know I can't have that!!! LOL!
With that said, I have nothing to report today. After some good rest, I'll be back tomorrow.
Nite-Nite.
I have had one of the most exhausting weeks in a long time. Believe me, I'm not complaining, I'm just sayin'. I've been so engrossed I haven't even had telephone, text or date night time with my sweetie. Come to think of it, neither has he!! What's up with that? You know I can't have that!!! LOL!
With that said, I have nothing to report today. After some good rest, I'll be back tomorrow.
Nite-Nite.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
QUESTION OF THE DAY! - Commiting to the Uncomfortable
Hey Covenant Groupies,
I was thinking today about things that may stretch me a little outside of my comfort zone and it turns out that there are a few things I could do for Kevin. 1) Extend more grace to him when we are having a disagreement 2) Be willing to bow out of an argument, not for the sake of being self righteous, but for the sake of peace and 3) Continue to pray especially when it hurts.
What three things will you commit to for and with your spouse that's been a struggle for you in the past?
I was thinking today about things that may stretch me a little outside of my comfort zone and it turns out that there are a few things I could do for Kevin. 1) Extend more grace to him when we are having a disagreement 2) Be willing to bow out of an argument, not for the sake of being self righteous, but for the sake of peace and 3) Continue to pray especially when it hurts.
What three things will you commit to for and with your spouse that's been a struggle for you in the past?
Monday, November 9, 2009
The Wife - Funny
Hey Covenant Groupies,
I thought I'd make this entry funny and lite. ENJOY!!!!!
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
I thought I'd make this entry funny and lite. ENJOY!!!!!
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
We're Examples - What Children Learn From Us.
Hey Covenant Groupies,
I recently had a conversation with a wife who was absolutely fed up with her husband because of his verbal and physical abuse. In her frustration, I let her share her hurts, thoughts and pains and twice she was profane. What I didn't know was her young son was there the entire time. the last time she used a profane word, he responded with what sounded like a scream. I asked her to remove him from her presence and as she begin to do that, he responded the way he's often seen his dad respond, by yelling at his mother and following behind her with an angry look on his face. She commented that he was doing exactly what her husband does. This child is almost two years old and he's so affected by their unhealthy relationship.
I immediately began to think wht he'll eventually think about relationships.
The embedded video was one that I'd seen severaal times, but never found a reason to include it.
This is the time. It's cute but let's remember that we're examples and children do not do what we say, but what we do.
I recently had a conversation with a wife who was absolutely fed up with her husband because of his verbal and physical abuse. In her frustration, I let her share her hurts, thoughts and pains and twice she was profane. What I didn't know was her young son was there the entire time. the last time she used a profane word, he responded with what sounded like a scream. I asked her to remove him from her presence and as she begin to do that, he responded the way he's often seen his dad respond, by yelling at his mother and following behind her with an angry look on his face. She commented that he was doing exactly what her husband does. This child is almost two years old and he's so affected by their unhealthy relationship.
I immediately began to think wht he'll eventually think about relationships.
The embedded video was one that I'd seen severaal times, but never found a reason to include it.
This is the time. It's cute but let's remember that we're examples and children do not do what we say, but what we do.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
QUESTION OF THE DAY! - Selflessness - What Does it Cost You?
Hey Covenant Groupies,
Kevin and I just returned from screening the new film "2012." Aside from the fact that it was soooooo long, it initially wasn't something I was excited to see, but duty called and we answered.
With the premise being that the world, as we know it, was coming to an end, people had to make some really difficult decisions. As well, when the proverbial, rubber hit the road, you get front row seats to the true character of people.
Civilization was ending and the complexities of humanity had hit an all time high. You saw sheer terror, cruelty, greed, selfishness, unconditional love, undying sacrifice, fear, anger just to name a few.
On the ride home, Kevin and were discussing what we thought our reactions would be and how we'd make no moves without one another if we were in the same situation. He was first to share how he'd be far more concerned with my safety, and if we had children, their safety over his very own. There was no hesitation in his offering. He almost sounded completely satisfied to feel that way and then say it. I was convinced that this was a moment of freedom to him, as if that's what he lives for; to save me and those he loves - freely - asking nothing in return.
As he shared, the word selflessness came to mind and it became such a beautiful display of truth, courage, bravery and love from him to me. I didn't get my chance to share, how could I, I am still in that moment; captivated by his character.
When was the last time you demonstrated selflessness to your spouse and what did it cost you?
Kevin and I just returned from screening the new film "2012." Aside from the fact that it was soooooo long, it initially wasn't something I was excited to see, but duty called and we answered.
With the premise being that the world, as we know it, was coming to an end, people had to make some really difficult decisions. As well, when the proverbial, rubber hit the road, you get front row seats to the true character of people.
Civilization was ending and the complexities of humanity had hit an all time high. You saw sheer terror, cruelty, greed, selfishness, unconditional love, undying sacrifice, fear, anger just to name a few.
On the ride home, Kevin and were discussing what we thought our reactions would be and how we'd make no moves without one another if we were in the same situation. He was first to share how he'd be far more concerned with my safety, and if we had children, their safety over his very own. There was no hesitation in his offering. He almost sounded completely satisfied to feel that way and then say it. I was convinced that this was a moment of freedom to him, as if that's what he lives for; to save me and those he loves - freely - asking nothing in return.
As he shared, the word selflessness came to mind and it became such a beautiful display of truth, courage, bravery and love from him to me. I didn't get my chance to share, how could I, I am still in that moment; captivated by his character.
When was the last time you demonstrated selflessness to your spouse and what did it cost you?
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Pray Together - I Dare You!!!!!!
Hey Covenant Groupies,
Another long day, but I wanted get your thoughts on this quandry that reigns in Christian marriages. After talking to couples for years, it has often surprised Kevin and me that we've never, did I say NEVER encounterd a couple that was struggling in their marriage that committed to praying together. They prayed apart, but never together.
Funny thing is, although their marital relationship was undoubtedly rocky, they felt and believed that their relationship with God was great. How so? When you avoid allowing God to assist you in His Covenant marriage, you leave it to chance and God-forbid divorce.
Our minds are often boggled when we'd sit across or with a couple and find out that praying for their spouses, their situation and their marriage had never crossed their minds as a necessity; as the initial work we personally begin to get to a solution.
How do we get to the point in our relationship where true intimacy; the act of praying - eternal is usurped by sex - temporal? Humanity has accepted sex as the pinnacle of intimacy. So, when it's time for prayer, unashamed intimacy is often avoided and we shreek from it. We even attached phrases to our spouses as reasons why we don't pray; we're not speaking right now, I 'm not feeling my spouse right now, He/she didn't do what I asked them to do, They didn't buy me the gift I asked for etc.
That's just the beginning of this conversation, but I had to share.
What are some reasons you've heard why couples don't pray?
Another long day, but I wanted get your thoughts on this quandry that reigns in Christian marriages. After talking to couples for years, it has often surprised Kevin and me that we've never, did I say NEVER encounterd a couple that was struggling in their marriage that committed to praying together. They prayed apart, but never together.
Funny thing is, although their marital relationship was undoubtedly rocky, they felt and believed that their relationship with God was great. How so? When you avoid allowing God to assist you in His Covenant marriage, you leave it to chance and God-forbid divorce.
Our minds are often boggled when we'd sit across or with a couple and find out that praying for their spouses, their situation and their marriage had never crossed their minds as a necessity; as the initial work we personally begin to get to a solution.
How do we get to the point in our relationship where true intimacy; the act of praying - eternal is usurped by sex - temporal? Humanity has accepted sex as the pinnacle of intimacy. So, when it's time for prayer, unashamed intimacy is often avoided and we shreek from it. We even attached phrases to our spouses as reasons why we don't pray; we're not speaking right now, I 'm not feeling my spouse right now, He/she didn't do what I asked them to do, They didn't buy me the gift I asked for etc.
That's just the beginning of this conversation, but I had to share.
What are some reasons you've heard why couples don't pray?
Monday, November 2, 2009
God's Divine Power - Let It Rest On and In Us!!
Hey covenat Groupies,
I've had a long day and I can't believe that I'm just getting to the blog. Nevertheless, I wanted to share an incident with you. Kevin and I were about a block away from church and, out of nowhere, our wonderful discussion turned into an argument. It was not loud or animated (I stress that because we were in public), so I wasn't embarrassing him and vice versa. But you know that moment in a disagreement that becomes the defining moment of unpleasantness and o=you can't seem to take it back.
Well, we had one of thse moments.
It was Kevin walking away from me in the middle of the disagreement, me fuming. He called me on the cell and asked me to come on down the street because, yess, I stayed in the exact spot he left me in. As I proceeded to tell him how disrespectful that was, he began to tell me how he had to walk away because he was etting frustrated. Before I knew it, I hung up on him. What an awful awful choice. i don't ever do that!
WOW! That is one of the most disrespectful things I think anyone can do and I did it - out of anger and hurt. As soon as I saw him I apologized to him and he gave me a bagel, but in our hearts we knew it was not resolved, so neither of us took Communion.
Funny thing, I wasn't angry at him at all. I didn't pray in that moment, so I don't know why I wasn't still angry because his walking away from me tried to play over and over in my head and keep me in that moment.
I have no words to describe what happened.
However, today as I read the word, my study was 2 Peter 1:3 "... His divine power gives us everything we NEED to live a godly life." I summize that God's divine power rested itself on me in that tough moment and allowed me to enjoy an amazing service, my family, fellowship and not dwell on the man that walked away from me earlier that morning, but the man that bought me the bagel - my friend, my husband.
Today we purposely and quietly talked about it, apologized to one another, asked for forgiveness and committed to take communion.
I've had a long day and I can't believe that I'm just getting to the blog. Nevertheless, I wanted to share an incident with you. Kevin and I were about a block away from church and, out of nowhere, our wonderful discussion turned into an argument. It was not loud or animated (I stress that because we were in public), so I wasn't embarrassing him and vice versa. But you know that moment in a disagreement that becomes the defining moment of unpleasantness and o=you can't seem to take it back.
Well, we had one of thse moments.
It was Kevin walking away from me in the middle of the disagreement, me fuming. He called me on the cell and asked me to come on down the street because, yess, I stayed in the exact spot he left me in. As I proceeded to tell him how disrespectful that was, he began to tell me how he had to walk away because he was etting frustrated. Before I knew it, I hung up on him. What an awful awful choice. i don't ever do that!
WOW! That is one of the most disrespectful things I think anyone can do and I did it - out of anger and hurt. As soon as I saw him I apologized to him and he gave me a bagel, but in our hearts we knew it was not resolved, so neither of us took Communion.
Funny thing, I wasn't angry at him at all. I didn't pray in that moment, so I don't know why I wasn't still angry because his walking away from me tried to play over and over in my head and keep me in that moment.
I have no words to describe what happened.
However, today as I read the word, my study was 2 Peter 1:3 "... His divine power gives us everything we NEED to live a godly life." I summize that God's divine power rested itself on me in that tough moment and allowed me to enjoy an amazing service, my family, fellowship and not dwell on the man that walked away from me earlier that morning, but the man that bought me the bagel - my friend, my husband.
Today we purposely and quietly talked about it, apologized to one another, asked for forgiveness and committed to take communion.
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